Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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