the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize