You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I just googled if crying burns calories
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Holy sore nipples Batman
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
