Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize