New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
So much Jack, so little girl.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
