I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Randomize
