dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
