dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
