David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
