Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
