Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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