just come out here and I will go home with you...
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
We are all done wearing pants today
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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