Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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