your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
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