I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
