so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
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