i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
