On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
