He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
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