At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
