Im at strip club and am horny
I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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