Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
even my farts smell like vagina
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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