The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
My first STD was from a foam party
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
