Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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