C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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