Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize