No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Randomize
