I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
i think i just lost a toe
Randomize
