The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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