there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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