so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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