HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
