You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
