An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
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