Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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