Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
It's blow job season.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
