We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
