Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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