What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
