I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Terrible idea I love it
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
