Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
