just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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