is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
