Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
