After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
