I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
