So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
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Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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