we have pet lesbian snakes
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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