Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
