does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
