we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize