she's into porn, im staying here tonight
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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