Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Randomize
