Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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