so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
