He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
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