One girl and one boy is just not enough.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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