i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize