does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
