That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
