doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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