I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
The struggles of a small town man whore
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
