i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
